Int. office - Corridor outside meeting room - mid-afternoon
KATE, MIKE and TOM huddle conspiratorially outside the meeting room door.
KATE
So, are you both ready for this? Tom, did you do your bit?
Mike
(gesturing aggressively)
Oh yes. The little shit is not going to get this promotion! Of all the fucking luck, his presentation being the day the boss is here.
Tom
Not if we can help it, Mike. His presentation has been … altered. Just remember your cues. He'll be gone before you know it. And watch your language in front of the boss.
Mike walks into the meeting room. Kate is about to follow, when Tom grabs her wrist. The BOSS and his two LACKEYS are walking down the corridor towards them, LACKEY 2 slightly in front and looking suspicious.
Tom
(Whispering)
We'll have to deal with Mike next.
Kate
(Whispering)
We will.
Tom and Kate enter the meeting room and sit side by side just before the Boss and his Lackeys arrive at the door and enter the room.
Int. Meeting Room. 15:10
BILL rushes into the room, papers scattering in his wake, laptop firmly clutched under one arm and a mild look of panic on his face. Everyone except the Boss jumps slightly on his entrance.
Bill
(breathless)
Sorry, I will be ready in just a second.
Bill frantically connects his laptop and arranges his papers. Camera to Bill's POV, Boss looks disapproving, naked hate from Kate, Bob and Mike. Lackey 1 passes Boss a glass of water. Lackey 2 keeps checking the room for ninjas hidden in the ceiling, or under the table.
Bill
Right, we are all set. We are looking at the financial results for the last quarter.
Bill(V.O.)
(looks at laptop)
Boot, you bitch.
First power point slide appears – a totally normal financial statement
Bill
(Volume fading after the word results to allow V.O.)
Ah, there we go. As you can see, looking at the last quarters results, our core business has, in real terms, lost 30% market share...
(Ad lib under the V.O)
Camera flicks to Kate, Tom and Mike in turn.
Kate (V.O.)
Oh stop with the crap, you poser.
Tom (V.O.)
That's it, lull the boss. I got you now.
Mike (V.O.)
These jockeys really chafe.
Next slide. A graph that is clearly upside down, showing profits skyrocketing.
Bill
As you can see, if this trend continues we will be
Mike
(interrupting)
The richest company on Earth in a week.
Bill looks flustered, notices the slide is upside down. Boss chuckles (O.S.)
Bill
(smiling weakly and sweating)
uh, I seem to have loaded that one upside down. However, as the next slide shows, we have a serious problem. Our main production plant …
Next slide – picture of Dresden after the bombing
Tom
Has been totalled?
Kate
Totally.
Bill pages through the next few slides, sweating and pulling his tie – each more inappropriate than the last. Tom Katie and Mike ad-lib as appropriate for each slide. **
Bill clicks to the final slide – a cartoon of two weasels having sex.
Bill
(desperately, and covered in sweat)
Look! That is what I am talking about! While we sit around doing nothing, our competitors are out there fucking our customers to happy orgasms.
Boss stands suddenly. The two lackeys scramble to stand as well. Lackey 2 crouches, ready for battle.
Boss
I have seen enough!
(smiling)
Thank you, Mr. Hicks for that informative presentation. A report of your recommendations on my desk by 9 tomorrow.
Bill sags in relief. Knocks a glass of water over.
Bill
Thanks, Dad.
Mike (tight close up)
(winks)
Pan camera back to show Kate and Tom, totally horrified.
Kate, Tom (V.O.)
Oh, shit ….
End.
**
Hate to do that, but it lets you spin the sequence out as long as you wish. Can't write lines for slides I haven't seen.
No comments:
Post a Comment